Episode 10.5 : Love Me Jeje

This is part II of The Four Types of Love (in the Bible) – Greek Style 

3. Love must be rooted in Phileo : a deep friendship. It is the most general form of love in the Bible. It literally translates to brotherly love. The pastor wasn’t preaching about brother to brother (in the marriage setting) so stay with me here lol. For more on why this is so do read Sodom and Gomora 👀

If you guys have watched Love island you’ll know the infamous bromance between Kem and Chris. Their friendship was one that was genuine, filled with a lot of laughs and sincere companionship. 

The principle theme of Phileo is a deep connection based on fondness and banter really!! In both our friendships and relationships it an essential part of our Christian life because it’s a form of love that can be extended to pretty much any relationship you have. (Which is why it’s the most general form of love in the Bible)

– Random fact : Philadelphia actually means “the city of brotherly love”. Which quickly reminded me of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and helped me remember the Greek term. Hope that helps 🤠

So Philia between man and woman should speak of affection and fondness of one and other. This type of love is evoked in oneself through the qualities in your other half. 

“you make me a want to be a better person”

“You motivate me to succeed”

“You inspire me to change….”

I genuinely feel like this is one of the most undervalued aspects of love. What the pastor emphasized was the need to know how to talk to and communicate with your partner in all situations which reflects a genuine care that Agape doesn’t require. 

This is because Agape CAN be given to all of those around you friends and enemies included whilst Phileo can NEVER be given to an enemy. Just in the same way Storge is satisfied by a deeper connection which corresponds with a family bond. 

So so far we gave 

Agape – love and give with all your heart to all whom you can 

Storge – love and give like the deep bond of a family tie

Phileo – love and give GENUINELY like you would a friend. 

I think of my closest friends and I begin to wonder. Truthfully, if I am to display this type of love I must learn to be as vulnerable with my future husband as I do my friends. Those insecurities and fears and dreams and even dark secrets should all be something I can share with him simply because I’m fond of him and he too, is a dear friend. 

My husband should be my best friend and know me best out of everyone and visa versa. The Bible says that “and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh (Mark 8:20)”. You can’t reasonably build  foundation if it’s not on mutual respect and appreciation. It forms a unity and the idea of teamwork 

4. Love must have Eros. Its described as sexual passion and was named after the Greek god of fertility which embodies ideas of sexual desire and passion. So this is self explanatory to be honest! 

So basically you have to find your husband/wife attractive. 

The full form of Eros is the only type of love that can only be satisfied within the confinement of marriage between both spouses. 

This is the most bastardized form of the 4 types of love. Society has watered down its meaning and we find it casually exhibited

in movies, music videos and pornography or even newspapers. 

What I touched upon in Episode 2 is how Satan uses Eros as a distraction. It steers an individual away from their purpose and into a need to please their flesh. Remember Solomon and his 999 concubines? No matter how wise, he still fell away from God because of his need to satisfy Eros in an UnGodly fashion. 

The devil tempts man in 3 ways :

1. Lust of the Eyes 

2. Lust of the Flesh

3. Pride of Life 

The fact that Eros statisfies 2/3 of these conditions should let you know the extent to which getting tangled in multiple intimate relationships is a way of the devil trying to bring your focus off your purpose and calling and back to selfishly pleases your body which never always needs more gratifying and never is fully satisfied. In doing so, you can’t even give your full love to your other half. 

Your body carries the spirit of God and if you’re too busy focusing on what your body needs, you cannot give way to hear and be guided by the Holy Spirit. 

This is why it is written that 

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”

(1 Corinthians 6:18)

So lastly but not least, Eros in marriage should be a couple’s best kept secret. One only both of them know and share between themselves to fully create this 4 fold love that brings fullness of joy. 

For whatever reason, “Love Me Jeje” is the only thing that seems to be in my head that’s both a song full of Phileo and Eros 😄

This is an actual gif from the video it’s by Seyi Sodimu
Don’t judge me!! This song came out not long after I was born so I can’t really tell you why it’s in my head especially because I haven’t heard it in years 😭😭 Issa jam! Watched the video for the first time this evening. 

So the next time you want to say you love someone, ask yourself how much of this 4-fold love can you give them? And future husband if you’re reading this, it applies to you too!

If so, say you LOVE (x4) me Zaddy!!!!!! 

Love Always,


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